Christmas Day
by Still believes Snivellus aka Heather Granger
Summary: Severus makes a promise to return on Christmas Day, read to see why. Please read and review! Happy Christmas


Christmas Day  
  
By  
  
Snivellus  
  
A/N: This is sort of a song fic. The song is by Dido called "Christmas Day." It is a SS/LE fan fic. It is pretty angsty and features a bit of graphicness. I love reviews, it makes me happy.  
  
*************************************************************  
  
Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy sat in the Leaky Cauldron having a couple of butterbeers on a cold day in November, when a young lady all bundled up in her cloak came in. She looked up at the two young men and quickly glanced to the ground. Severus had looked into her eyes, and for a moment, his eyes softened. He was interrupted by his friend.  
  
"Sev, look who it is. Your mudblood girlfriend looks pretty lonely, why donÕt you go and say hello." Lucius Malfoy egged his friend on.  
  
"She is not my girlfriend, sod off Malfoy!" Severus said as he took a sip of his butterbeer.  
  
"Suit yourself, watch yourself, you wouldn't want your father to find out now would you?" He said casually as he put down his empty mug and threw on his cloak.  
  
"I have to go meet Narcissus at Honeydukes anyways. I am serious Severus, stay away, I am tired of having to take you back from meetings unconscious."   
  
"Just leave me, I can take care of myself." Severus said blandly.  
  
"Yeah, ok, next time I will let you die from the cold." At this he got up and walked out of the dreary pub.  
  
~*~  
  
Severus took another slug of his butterbeer, and held the mug in his hand. He couldn't help but think of the girl, nay lady that had walked in.   
  
Lily Evans, a Gryffindor in his class was currently invading his thoughts. To most of his classmates it would appear that he disliked her, but his dislike for her only came from his extreme jealousy. Tall for his age, hair too greasy, nose too pointy, he would never be enough for her. She was perfect in everyway. Her hair always neatly tied back, lips always pink, and her figure was, well beautifulÉ  
  
His thoughts were interrupted when he felt someone slide past him to take a seat. It was her.  
  
"Forgive me." Lilly said quietly.  
  
Severus did not know if he should respond or not. He seemed nervous. His better judgment, and the pain that he would suffer from his father, if he was to find out, told him not to say anything and ignore her, but he couldn't help but want to.  
  
"Severus? Is that you?" Lilly asked, as he glanced up at her.  
  
"Yes, it is hard to mistake me for someone else." He said bitterly.  
  
"How are you, have you been looking out for yourself?" Lilly asked, knowing the times of unrest that they were currently in.  
  
"I am breathing, I suppose that is an accomplishment."  
  
"You know you have always underestimate yourself." She said gently.  
  
"And you never mind your own business." He said irritably.   
  
"Why do you hate me?" She asked. 'If you only knew' he thought.  
  
"That is perhaps the stupidest thing that has ever escaped your lips."   
  
"Well you certainly do everything in your power to avoid my gaze." She pressed.  
  
"Evans, we come from very different backgrounds, it isn't safe for us to be seen together."  
  
"You mean it isnÕt safe for you." She corrected him.  
  
"No, no I don't. Good day Evans." Severus turned to leave.  
  
"Wait, come with me, I need to speak with you."  
  
"What now?" He hissed.  
  
"It is important."  
  
"Quick, go." He said pushing her upstairs to a room at the bar.  
  
"What is so important that you choose a public place to speak to me?" Severus was growing irritated.  
  
"IÉI am pregnant." The tension in the air could be could with a knife.  
  
"I suppose it is Potter's?" He said slowly.  
  
"He asked me to marry him."  
  
"That is very Gryffindor of him."  
  
"I haven't decided yet."  
  
"Decided about what? Marrying the father of your baby?"  
  
"Yes, I meanÉ I need to know something first."  
  
"What?"  
  
"If I was a Pureblood, would you haveÉ I mean it always seemedÉ"  
  
"Would I what Ms. Evans?" He said even though he knew perfectly well where she was going.  
  
"That night at the Yule ball last year."  
  
"That was a horrible trick, of course I wasn't in my right mind, your stupid Maurder friends." Knowing that Black and Potter had tainted his punch with a mind- altering potion.  
  
"I just thought that maybe you.. never mind, it was stupid of me to ask, of course you didn't feel anything for me, you are just like your Slytherin friends."  
  
"You may think whatever you wish, I have to be somewhere, I hope Potter and you are happy." The words came dripping out of his mouth.  
  
"Severus, you don't have to be like the rest of them, just because your fatherÉ"  
  
"Do not speak of my father!" He hissed.  
  
"There are other ways out, Dumbledore could help you, I know that it isn't what you wanted. You are so bright Severus."  
  
"Obviously not as bright as Potter, I wasn't even Head Boy."  
  
"This can't be what you want."  
  
"Do not speak to me as if you were my friend. Just because we tutored each other at one time, doesn't mean we were friends."  
  
"Fine! You know, I wish you knew how lost you really are."  
  
"Good day Ms. Evans!" And with that Severus walked out of the room slamming the door behind him.  
  
~*~  
  
Severus didn't think that one conversation with Lilly Evans could leave him so irate. He really didn't have a meeting, but after her news of the little bundle of Potter's joy he just wanted to get the hell out.  
  
He knew she was right, right about absolutely everything, but he would never admit that, it was his most honored trait to not show emotion. That is why he was a good Occulmency. Thank god that that was not Evans' strong suit, or else he would have been in trouble. He wanted her so badly, but the more logical part of his brain, mainly the voice of his father, would tell him that it would be quite impossible.  
  
Not knowing what to do, Severus apparated to his manor, and took to the stables. Coming up upon his mare, Sapphire he reached out his hand and conjured a carrot.   
  
"Sapphire, would you care for a run?" The horse bowed his head in agreement.  
  
"All right girl, come on then." He said as he opened the pin, and quickly saddled her.  
  
Severus rode all the way out of his property out into the bordering forest of Bagrada, the forest of his ancestors. Severus was a long descendant of the Vampires. Although there were no remaining pureblood Vampires, he still enjoyed riding in the forests. It was perhaps one of the only places he could escape to after a row with his overbearing father. His mother on the other had, well he hated to admit it but she thought that she was incredibly weak, and hated her for staying with his father. If only she was able to escape, then perhaps it could give him hope as well.  
  
He had thought enough about his sodding family, if it weren't for Evans, he wouldn't have even been in this state right now. There he went again, trying to remove accountability, he hated himself when he did this. It isn't Lilly's fault. Which neatly brought him back to her.  
  
He didn't really know why he had these feelings for her. After all she was just a muggle born, but then again, she actually took the time to get to know people, and she genuinely cared for people. There was no one in his life like that, not even his own mother.  
  
At this his arm started to burn. The Dark Mark was calling him. He bent down to Sapphire and said: "It's time to go back now. Take me to Andril clearing, I will apparate from there."   
  
~*~  
  
Lilly walked out of the Leaky Cauldron a few minutes after Severus had stormed out. She admitted that she might have pushed him too far. She knew his style, and yet she tested it to the limit. She found Severus interesting. He was much different than her Gryffindor friends, she found his mannerisms intriguing, and movements somehow appealing. She thought that maybe he felt something for her, but then again, she could not be sure.  
  
~*~  
  
"Severus!" Amon Snape yelled.  
  
"Yes sir?" He questioned reverently.  
  
"What were you doing with that filthy little mudblood today at the Leaky Cauldron?"  
  
"Sir?" Severus did not deny his father's claim, but did not want to readily admit to it either.  
  
"Do not play the fool with me boy." His father hissed.  
  
"She wished to tell me that she was marrying Potter, that is all." Severus said, hoping this information for the Dark Lord would be enough to stop his father pressing the matter.  
  
"Why would she discuss that matter with you?"  
  
"The stupid girl thinks that she can confide in me, is that not why the Dark Lord rewarded me last month?" He said, wishing his father would get off his case.  
  
"I thought I told you never to lie to me! You ignorant fool!" And with that Amon withdrew his wand and threw several curses at Severus, until he was fully satisfied with his groaning son lying in a heap on the ground. Severus knew better than to fight back. He laid still until his father had disapperated. It was then when he mustered up enough strength to apparated back to where Sapphire was waiting.  
  
He landed on his hands and knees. He started coughing violently until finally he emptied his stomach on the brown colored grass. Groaning, he fell back onto his back and laid there looking up at Sapphire, who had walked over and nudged him.  
  
"Sapphire, good girl, do you think you could help me." He said gruffly. With this Sapphire bent down and let Severus struggle to mount him.  
  
When Severus was up, Sapphire started to walk back towards his home.  
  
"No, don't take me there, please anywhere but there." He said quietly.  
  
So Sapphire and Severus set off in no particular direction. Severus was still in a quite a bit of pain and wished that he could muster up the strength to heal himself, but any wizard knew that it was practically impossible to heal one's self when they were in too much pain.  
  
~*~  
  
It wasn't until a couple hours later that Severus had rode up past Sodden Hills, and was now feeling the ability to live again. He saw a house up on a hill, and had made up his mind to ride by. It must have been fate, because at that same moment Lilly Evans came out of her house to see a hooded figure on a beautiful black mare.  
  
"Lilly?" Severus asked rather quietly.  
  
"Severus? You look horrible.  
  
"Don't remind me. Are you by yourself?" He asked carefully.  
  
"Yes, I am."  
  
"Do you think, perhaps if it isn't too much of a inconvenienceÉ"  
  
"Do you want to come in?" Severus attempted to get off Sapphire, but grunted in the process.  
  
"Here let me help you." Lilly said putting a hand on his shoulder. With this, Severus stopped and looked into her eyes.  
  
"Your eyes, they are green, like mine." He said softly.  
  
"Did you hurt your head Severus, I know my eyes are green, but yours, yours are black." She said rather shocked.  
  
"They weren't always this color."  
  
"What do you mean? Your eyes just don't change colors."  
  
"Mine did, after, after my father.. nevermind." Severus said now sitting on her front porch.  
  
"After your father hurt you?" She prodded.  
  
"Please, I don't want to talk about it."  
  
~*~  
  
Lilly helped Severus into her house, where she had a fire going. She sat him down in a chair by the hearth, and went and got some hot chocolate, which he took after little protest.  
  
Lilly sat next to him looking at his battered body, wanting to cry, but stopped herself, he would not like that. She said a few spells that helped him relax his tightened muscles, and helped him breath normally. Severus wanted to protest, but was in too much pain to care. He did love her, with or without a mind-altering potion. If only things had turned out differently for both of them, perhaps then he and she could be together.  
  
Severus drifted into sleep, not knowing how long he had been there when he woke an hour later.  
  
"Feeling any better?" Lilly asked, as she brought him another drink.  
  
"Yes." Was all he said.  
  
"Good, my parents will be home soon." She said still looking into his dark eyes.  
  
"Your lips are red, like a fresh cut rose."  
  
"Pardon me?" She said as she blushed.  
  
"Forgive me, I should leave." He said quickly.  
  
"Oh Severus, please don't leave!" Lilly said quickly as she grasped him on the shoulders and kissed him. They both stood there shocked, unsure what to do.  
  
"Severus, say the word and I won't marry James." Lilly said finally letting her emotions go.  
  
"Your carrying his child, not mine." He said bitterly.  
  
"Severus, we can work something out."   
  
Severus wanted her so badly it hurt. His heart was pounding in his shallow chest, making his ribs hurt.  
  
"I have to go." He said making up his mind.  
  
"What if I told you that James isn't the father!" At this Severus turned on his heels, and gave her an undeceiving look.  
  
"Have you gone out of your mind. Whose is it then?" He asked wildly.  
  
"It's not important, let's just forget about the baby for a minute."  
  
"No, no let's sort this out right now." He demanded.  
  
"Fine, if you must know, look!" At this, Lilly pulled up her sleeve and revealed the Dark Mark.  
  
"What the hell is going on!" His eyes enlarged.  
  
"Look do you remember Halloween?" Lilly asked.  
  
Of course he remembered Halloween, it was one of the worst nights of his life. He was forced under the Imperio curse, to explore his sexual side with other female members of the Dark Lord's service.  
  
"Wait, you can't mean, that.. that was you?" He said.  
  
At this Lilly started crying.  
  
"Oh Merlin's sakes." Severus said rather shocked and appalled.   
  
"Lilly, I didn't know, god I am so, so sorry. I didn't want to I swear."  
  
"I know Severus, I know, it is something I prepared myself for when I agreed to help Dumbledore."  
  
"He put you up to this?"  
  
"That doesn't matter right now." At this they heard the garage door raise.  
  
"You should go." Lilly said wiping the tears from her face.  
  
"I promise, I will return."  
  
"Christmas Day." She said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Promise me that you will return on Christmas."  
  
"I promise, I will return for you on Christmas Day."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
But he never did. He was caught and put in Azkaban for the death of his father. It wasn't until after the baby was born that he was released under Dumbledore's orders. He heard that Lilly had married Potter. He never told anyone about what she had confided in him, mostly because it would have ruined both of them. In the end, he felt it to be better this way. He wasn't the fatherly figure, and James loved the boy as his own.  
  
Albus let Severus redeem himself and he was able to find a job as a Potions professor at Hogwarts, and became Head of House for Slytherin. And now here he sat looking into those large green eyes that belonged to her, and wishing that he could have changed the past. But Christmas Day never came for Severus Snape.  
  
******************************* The young gentleman came riding past On a snow - blue winter's day He asked to drink by our fire and I was pleased to let him stay He drank there quietly for a while And then he turned and said to me  
  
Your eyes are green Like summer grass Your lips are red Like a fresh - cut rose Your hair is soft Like an Irish stream And your voice is filled with sweet beauty  
  
And the last words I heard him say were I shall return for you my love on Christmas Day And the night will come but I won't sleep As I watch the stars that lead him I cannot place where he is But still my heart goes with him I'm saving all my Sunday clothes for the day That I'll be leaving Father knows My sister knows And my friends They're happy for me And the priest he says You should thank God For the blessing of such beauty And the last words I heard him say were I shall return for you my love on Christmas Day I shall return for you my love on Christmas Day On Christmas Day I shall return for you My love... And the last words I heard him say Were the last words I ever heard him say I shall return for you my love on Christmas Day I said I will return on Christmas Day And yes, I shall return on Christmas day I shall return, for you, on Christmas Day My love I will return on Christmas Day I shall return, my love, on Christmas Day On Christmas Day  
  
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The End. 


End file.
